Rant!

Being a highly observant person, I kept thinking there was something different about the last rolls of TP I bought. Now, I have been a Northern TP customer for probably 20 years, and they've made some changes in that time. When they started making their TP "quilted", I was all for that, except that the first TV commercials announcing the change showed the little Northern cartoon ladies sitting in a circle "quilting" with knitting needles. Northern TP company, I hope you fired your ad agency over that one.
But I'm wondering now how they might spin this change.

The roll on the right is one I bought very recently. The roll on the left is one from under the sink. It's probably been there 6 months or so, as we haven't run out lately and had to dive into the reserve stash. Do you notice anything different about the two rolls? And no, I always buy the same product; double rolls, 12 rolls that supposedly equal 24 "regular" size rolls. Now I'm wondering what is regular size.
In fairness to Northern, I measured the smaller rolls, and they are 4" across, which is exactly what the package says they should be, so there's no false advertising. I don't have any 6 month old packaging to compare the given size, but the older roll is obviously 1/2" wider, so I'm assuming they changed their packaging as well. I don't think they'll advertise this "improvement", but I can't help but wonder how they would spin it if they did:
"Hey, have you lost weight? We noticed, and we're celebrating with you by making narrower rolls of TP to fit your new smaller rear!" Or maybe, "The Northern family of personal hygiene products is doing its part to help the environment by making our TP rolls narrower, thereby getting more of your money for less of our product." Well, that probably wouldn't work...

Anyway, after shopping for some groceries yesterday, and promptly putting those groceries away several hours after I got home, I noticed this:

I thought I was buying honey in the cute little bear-shaped jug, but no, I grabbed the lesser-known raccoon honey. Should we eat it? Should we wash it before we eat it (like raccoons do their food)? And just where does raccoon honey come from? Do honey bees occasionally like to visit road kill, like some wasps do? That's just not a very appetizing thought....
[Actually, letting the honey sit tipped over on the countertop led to the raccoon appearance. I think tiny air bubbles floated slowly to what was the highest point in the container; the eye area. After having stood in the cupboard overnight, the raccoon honey is once again bear honey.]
[But I'm still ticked off about the TP.]